It’s been almost 8 years since I first wrote this information down for a friend who was expecting a baby.  I thought it would be interesting to air it again here.

Ten pieces of advice for first time parents:

1. Earplugs.
2. Practice saying “Because I said so.”  It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
3. If you don’t have an available set of grandparents handy, adopt a pair.
4. No, you can’t have anything nice.
5. Don’t buy a $2000 play structure, plant a tree instead.
6. Two words: Scotch Guard.
7. Bedtimes aren’t just for kids.
8. Put a cover on the sandbox.  Trust me on this.
9. It’s not the money you spend *on* the child that matters, it’s the time you spend *with* the child that matters.
10. If your wife ever wants to take you and the kid to be on the Maury Povich show, just run.

What did I miss?